Weddings By Sandy

Posts Tagged ‘vows’

Here is a short list of questions I typically ask during a meeting with a couple. I think these are just some of the things your officiant might need to know to understand what you are looking for so they can create a meaningful, personalized and special wedding ceremony. It is best to be open, honest and allow your officiant to get to know you so that the process will be easier. 

1.   Tell me how you met.

2.  Are you Religious, Spiritual or non-religious?   What is your religious background?   Is religion important to you? 

3.  Regarding religion; Is there anything you defiantly do or don’t want to include in the ceremony?

4.  Describe your perfect officiant.

5.  Speaking; are you comfortable speaking in public or do you want to keep it to a minimum?

6.  Writing; do you want to write vows to one another?  If you wish to write your vows but not read them to each other, you can repeat after the officiant.

7.  Are you interested in any of the rituals that can go on during a wedding such as sand, rose’s exchange, wine sharing, candle lighting?

8.  Are you planning to use a runner?  Please note:  these don’t work well on uneven surfaces such as grass or outside.  Save your money and use rose petals instead…besides rose petals are prettier.

9.  Are you including music?  Such as a vocalist or music that will play while I am speaking.  Please note: music and speaking don’t go well together, unless I use a microphone.

10.  Is anyone doing a reading?

11.  Describe your guests and your family.  How many are planning to attend?

12.  Have you worked out the processional? Will it include formal seating of parents and/or grandparents?

13.  Describe your relationship – What do you think the key for you to live a long and happy life together will be?

Many couples get married in their church, temple or religious community and don’t get to choose who will say the words or what words will be said that make them a married couple. I think couples who can choose who will marry them are very lucky and should make this choice by consciously choosing someone they trust. When making this very important decision couples should keep a few things in mind.

Are you comfortable with your officiant?
A good personality match is important when you are choosing your officiant. I once had a woman tell me about her wedding day experience when her officiant yelled at the guests and started discussing his drug and alcohol rehabilitation during the ceremony instead of focusing on the prepared text! Make sure your officiant checks out. Get some references from Wedding Wire or other unsolicited websites that allow brides to write about their vendors.

Does your officiant have a great speaking voice?
Great speakers understand how to enunciate correctly and use their voice like a musician uses their instrument to make the words they say have impact. They can speak well, are not monotone and are delight to hear. An officiant with a great speaking voice will bring your guest along on your ceremony journey; using humor, being spontaneous and most likely more than one tear will be shed. Knowing how to use a microphone is just as important. Great officiants realize at times they may need to use a lapel microphone and understand why the use of a hand held microphone makes it difficult to handle the rings and do some of the other rituals effectively or even gracefully!

Does your officiant understand how weddings work?
Someone who is new to the wedding industry may not have the experience to provide the expertise and support a needy or nervous bride in the way she deserves, with care and understanding. Unfortunately only the experience of doing lots of different kinds of weddings can provide this education. Experience is something that is earned.

Does your officiant have lots of text and ideas for you to choose from?
Couples choosing an officiant outside of the religious arena can have anything from apples to zebras in their wedding ceremony. Humor and other ideas are easily incorporated into your ceremony. I personally have officiated Dr Seuss weddings, red-neck ceremonies and sports oriented ceremonies. Basically, anything goes! It is your wedding shouldn’t you get what you want and allow your “couple” personality shine through?!

So think about what you want in an officiant before you book yours. Personality, a great speaking voice, choices in the content of your ceremony, experience and expertise are very valuable and important pieces of the puzzle when choosing the person that says those important words; “I now pronounce you husband and wife!”

What is the best ritual to include in your ceremony? Well a lot depends on your personality as a couple do you enjoy a lot of sentiment or are you more fun; is your ceremony humorous or religious? There are a lot of factors to consider.
Many brides choose a sand ceremony because they have children and this is a wonderful way to include them in the ceremony. The sand is poured into two containers or more and then the children pour the sand into a bigger container, followed by the bride and the groom, creating a beautiful container of sand art.
Other brides prefer a more traditional route with a candle lighting ceremony, which really can only effectively be done inside. It is always sad when the wind blows out the candle, even with a hurricane lantern you cannot be sure it will stay lit.
What about trying something different, maybe a hand fasting ritual this where the term “tying the knot” comes from or giving each other chocolate kisses to symbolize the sweetness of life? Maybe you can wash away the past and step forth into the future with a clean slate, with a water ceremony.
Whatever ritual you choose, make it meaningful to you and your intended. Your wedding ceremony is something to be cherished and remembered.