Posts Tagged ‘Choose the right Officiant’

• Doesn’t read the entire ceremony at rehearsal; but focuses on the elements that involve movement, actions and people
• Makes sure the ceremony site is ready for your wedding (sand, candles or ritual ready to go)
• Can be heard by your guests and knows how to use a microphone and what to do if it doesn’t
• Dresses appropriately
• Arrives early to ensure everything is ready to go and works with your other vendors to create your vision
• Is flexible and personable
• Has fun!
• Helps you to de-stress and relax
• Has a great speaking voice
• Enjoys working with others
• Can provide you with lots and lots of options
• Takes control of the rehearsal and ceremony so you don’t have to

Weddings by Sandy will be at this event to help you understand what an officiant does and how we can help you create the wedding ceremony of your dreams!

Premier Bride Presents

Bridal Show at Smyth Jewelers

Wednesday, October 17th, 2012 • 6pm-9pm

Smyth Jewelers

▪ Timonium

One lucky bride will win a  Dream Cruise Giveaway!

One lucky bride will win a  $1,000.00 vendor shopping spree for her dream wedding

Delicious Food • Beautiful Gowns

Photographers • Fresh Flowers

Cake Tasting • Meet DJs

Meet Top Wedding Planners Char Libertini and Kay Frasier as they share their professional

tips for your Dream wedding.

www.bridalshowsandexpos.com

Register on line $7.00 at the Door $12.00

410.666.1294 – Premiere Bride

410.925.1086 – Your Day Your Way

410.783.8211- Prestigious Occasions

Here is a short list of questions I typically ask during a meeting with a couple. I think these are just some of the things your officiant might need to know to understand what you are looking for so they can create a meaningful, personalized and special wedding ceremony. It is best to be open, honest and allow your officiant to get to know you so that the process will be easier. 

1.   Tell me how you met.

2.  Are you Religious, Spiritual or non-religious?   What is your religious background?   Is religion important to you? 

3.  Regarding religion; Is there anything you defiantly do or don’t want to include in the ceremony?

4.  Describe your perfect officiant.

5.  Speaking; are you comfortable speaking in public or do you want to keep it to a minimum?

6.  Writing; do you want to write vows to one another?  If you wish to write your vows but not read them to each other, you can repeat after the officiant.

7.  Are you interested in any of the rituals that can go on during a wedding such as sand, rose’s exchange, wine sharing, candle lighting?

8.  Are you planning to use a runner?  Please note:  these don’t work well on uneven surfaces such as grass or outside.  Save your money and use rose petals instead…besides rose petals are prettier.

9.  Are you including music?  Such as a vocalist or music that will play while I am speaking.  Please note: music and speaking don’t go well together, unless I use a microphone.

10.  Is anyone doing a reading?

11.  Describe your guests and your family.  How many are planning to attend?

12.  Have you worked out the processional? Will it include formal seating of parents and/or grandparents?

13.  Describe your relationship – What do you think the key for you to live a long and happy life together will be?

Many couples get married in their church, temple or religious community and don’t get to choose who will say the words or what words will be said that make them a married couple. I think couples who can choose who will marry them are very lucky and should make this choice by consciously choosing someone they trust. When making this very important decision couples should keep a few things in mind.

Are you comfortable with your officiant?
A good personality match is important when you are choosing your officiant. I once had a woman tell me about her wedding day experience when her officiant yelled at the guests and started discussing his drug and alcohol rehabilitation during the ceremony instead of focusing on the prepared text! Make sure your officiant checks out. Get some references from Wedding Wire or other unsolicited websites that allow brides to write about their vendors.

Does your officiant have a great speaking voice?
Great speakers understand how to enunciate correctly and use their voice like a musician uses their instrument to make the words they say have impact. They can speak well, are not monotone and are delight to hear. An officiant with a great speaking voice will bring your guest along on your ceremony journey; using humor, being spontaneous and most likely more than one tear will be shed. Knowing how to use a microphone is just as important. Great officiants realize at times they may need to use a lapel microphone and understand why the use of a hand held microphone makes it difficult to handle the rings and do some of the other rituals effectively or even gracefully!

Does your officiant understand how weddings work?
Someone who is new to the wedding industry may not have the experience to provide the expertise and support a needy or nervous bride in the way she deserves, with care and understanding. Unfortunately only the experience of doing lots of different kinds of weddings can provide this education. Experience is something that is earned.

Does your officiant have lots of text and ideas for you to choose from?
Couples choosing an officiant outside of the religious arena can have anything from apples to zebras in their wedding ceremony. Humor and other ideas are easily incorporated into your ceremony. I personally have officiated Dr Seuss weddings, red-neck ceremonies and sports oriented ceremonies. Basically, anything goes! It is your wedding shouldn’t you get what you want and allow your “couple” personality shine through?!

So think about what you want in an officiant before you book yours. Personality, a great speaking voice, choices in the content of your ceremony, experience and expertise are very valuable and important pieces of the puzzle when choosing the person that says those important words; “I now pronounce you husband and wife!”

I often get asked what is an officiant and what exactly do they do? Officiants, primarily officiate weddings, funerals and other ceremonies; meaning they say the words that unite a couple in marriage or sends an individual to their final resting place. Many Officiants work part-time, very few work full time.   

Most of what an officiant does is behind the scenes, the 10-30 minutes they spend talking in front of an audience is just the finished product of all of the background work that can take an average of 10 hours of work per ceremony.  This can and does include consultations, scheduling appointments, dealing with no-shows of couples and families who are often busy(they forget or are late due to illness or grief); fielding inquiry emails and phone calls to check availability.  Writing the ceremonies can sometimes can take months of work including facilitating couples to write multiple drafts, proof-reads, approvals, updates, modifications, last minute changes, re-approvals, researching special rituals, writing vows and reading choices for weddings and other special ceremonies.  Conducting research for particular non-traditional ceremonies; knowing where to look and of course obtaining the education and experience related to finding the right information.  Ceremony practice time, both privately (on your own; such as reading the ceremony outloud) and at the rehearsal for the wedding.  Travel time to and from the rehearsal and ceremony, waiting and interacting with other vendors before and after the rehearsal and ceremony. Following ceremonies, actions such as signing legal documents like the marriage license and certificates for a variety of ceremonies are also part of the job. Managing the business of officiating, such as advertizing, bridal shows, networking and other things associated with running a business.  Filing the legal documents collected from the ceremonies with the appropriate county office either through mailing or personal delivery.  Financial management such as collecting deposits, fees and payments due; paying fees for legal and insurance coverage.      

Conducting a ceremony requires an officiant to: read the words uniting the couple in marriage; stand the entire time during the ceremony; reassure the nervous bride and groom that everything will be FINE; conduct last-minute free marriage counseling; communicate needs and wants between the couple, the DJ, photographer and other vendors; greets people as they arrive for the wedding; answers questions about “What church do you preach at?”; pins on corsages and ties men’s ties when they have no clue how to do so; carries any and all items that may be needed by the bride/groom such as tissue, aspirin, bug spray, safety pins, stain remover and lots of other items; acts as child psychologist for reluctant or shy children in the wedding party; says “no problem” when the groom forgets the wedding rings and now I have to think of an excuse to delay the ceremony for ten minutes without the bride finding out exactly why; ad-libs as children decide they don’t want to do what the bride/groom wanted them to do; ad-libs as the weather decides not to cooperate; uses a “big voice” when the audio equipment does not cooperate; gets to see the love and joy on the bride and groom’s faces as they repeat their vows to each other; gets to say, “I now pronounce you husband and wife”; gets hugs from bride and groom before leaving.  Finally, the personal sacrifices–time lost with significant others on the weekends.  Typically officiate work is on Friday, Saturday and Sunday. 

The most important part:

Your Officiate is a consummate professional without which there would be no marriage.
It is the least expensive cost in a typical wedding, yet the only required part.
You can have a wedding without flowers, DJ, expensive dresses and fancy food.  You can’t have a legal marriage without an Officiate, Minister, Priest or going to the court house.

An personally, I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE!!!  Officiating weddings!  I’m just saying!