Weddings By Sandy

Archive for June, 2009

This year I will be performing a ceremony in Pennsylvania. Maybe I will peform a ceremony in Texas too….Is this possible? Yes, my ordination allows this, but each state is different and each state has its own way of doing business. I will have to deal with this when I get to it. But in the mean time, I think it is important to understand the law.

Some states require witnesses. Some states, like Maryland don’t. Some states require witnessess to sign the marriage document. Some don’t. Some states require the officiant register at each county clerks office, some don’t. In a few days I’m going to Virginia to register, as I just found out I can officiate there. In December, I’m moving to San Antonio, TX, where I will also officiate ceremonies over the winter months. As I did in Pennsylvania and in Maryland, I contacted the state and the county offices to see what steps I needed to take. I will do the same in Virginia and in Texas.

Each state manages its civil ceremonies differently. So, I just need to pay attention and do the right thing.

Yesterday I had a client meeting and two weddings. In preparation for the two weddings I contacted the bride who had yet to send me her vows and I printed off the second wedding’s keepsake ceremony. In preparation for the client meeting I printed off the contact data form and contract. The bride who needed to send me her vows, finally contacted me, but I never received them from her so I had to print off her ceremony with out the vows.

When I attended my client meeting, the bride was so excited that she signed the contract immediately and said, “You are too popular, I have to book you!” I was stunned! Surprised! All could say was, “thank you!”

After the client meeting, I went to my first wedding. The bride was late, despite the fact that I made it clear I had another wedding (1.5 hours away). In my initial meeting I discuss being late, there is a late clause in my contract and I am always upfront with couples about what I have going on. They were not prepared for their ceremony, obviously not paying attention to what they selected and what I put together for them. I asked them if they rehearsed at all (since they didn’t want a rehearsal) they responded that “no they didn’t rehearse”, even though I sent them a rehearsal guide. I edited the ceremony as I read, so that it would at least make sense. The reader they selected to read COULDN’T READ! She stumbled over the simplest words (I felt embarrassed for her). The groom is going into the Marines in a few weeks and took everything in stride, the bride looked like she was a deer in headlights.

I try to meet with couples, especially couples who choose not to rehearse, about 2 weeks prior to their ceremony and I had done so with this couple. It gives all of us a chance to review the ceremony and to discuss the needs and the technical bits. Her two mothers, apologized over and over, but being late is so disrespectful.. Oh Well..obviously the bride just didn’t care that much.

I made it in time (the as promised time) to the second wedding. This wedding was exactly the opposite, because we had held a rehearsal the night prior, the couple was relaxed, prepared, and very emotional during the ceremony, both cried. It was a beautiful thing. Everything went as planned. Their reader was perfect. I went home and collapsed..I just don’t think I can do better than this.

I try being flexible, but flexible only goes so far..I am not going to be late to someone else’s wedding because one bride is disrespectful to everyone else by being late.

That was my day yesterday, how was your!

In my five years of officiating wedding ceremonies I have never dropped the rings.  Thank Goodness!  But recently, something happened that I have never experienced before.  A two year old pitched a fit just prior to coming down the aisle and during this little tantrum, he flicked his wrist and the ring pillow flew over my head and into the Chesapeake Bay!  Thankfully, this couple took my advice and did not put the rings on that flying pillow. 

My advice is to not trust a child with thousands of dollars of jewelry!  If you feel that you must put something on the pillow then put those fake gold or silver plastic rings on the pillow.  Give the rings to the matron of honor, the best man or the officiant, but don’t entrust them to someone who will turn that ring pillow into a soccer ball or foot ball or something worse, bay trash! 

Have you ever wondered if you should have a receiving line after your ceremony? Well let’s run through the pros and cons.   How long will this take?  What if the weather isn’t so great…will your guests be inside or outside while they are waiting in line? What about those that have physical disabilities and can’t stand in line?  Which members of the wedding party should be in the receiving line?  Where and when the receiving line should start?

Well let’s run through the pros and cons. First of all you’ve just finished your ceremony, you are excited, and relieved that it is over and maybe you want a few minutes alone with each other…but wait you have a receiving line to get into. If you have just a few guests maybe it will take 15 minutes, but what if you have invited 100, 150 or more guests, you may be there an hour or more! Shaking hands, getting hugs and kisses (where is the antibacterial gel? Swine flu!). Can’t you do this after dinner? You could be getting photos done while your guests are getting refreshments. If you take the time following dinner then you can speak to each guest and spend a little bit more time with them, than in a receiving line. If you meet and greet each person after dinner, then you may not have as much time to dance and have fun…so what should you do?  So many couples complain that the day just becomes a blur and hardly remember anything about their day because most of it was spent making the rounds greeting guests!

For practical purposes, it’s good advice to limit the number of people in your receiving line. You will want to greet each guest and have your guests move quickly through the line (guests dislike standing in a slow moving receiving line) and avoid any delays to your reception getting under way.   So, who should be in the receiving line? 

A receiving line can be as long or short as you like and at its minimum include the bride, the groom and the hosts of the day. To speed things along, it is practical advice to just include those members of your bridal party who need to participate in the receiving line.  It is not unusual for only one set of parents to stand in the receiving line and the other set to mingle through the crowd of guests meeting and greeting them.  The Maid of Honor and Bridesmaids generally participate, but the Groomsmen and ushers do not. Only children of the bridal couple participate in the receiving line other children who may have participated in the ceremony do not.

Your receiving line is a guarantee that you will meet and greet each individual guest, so where is the best place to have the receiving line?  Choosing the site for the receiving line is important.  You are going to be standing there for at least 15 minutes maybe more.  Choose a space that is not going to feel crowded such as in a hall way, sidewalk, under a grove of trees or on the dance floor.  Where ever you choose to stand, make it comfortable and easy for your guests to walk by on their way to the reception. Also make sure there is plenty of ventilation so the bride doesn’t get overheated and so sweat isn’t pouring off the brow of the groom.  You might also want to consider when to hold the receiving line, immediately following the ceremony or just prior to the start of the wedding reception. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure your line moves quickly so you don’t waste a moment of your special day.  The goal is to have fun! 

Check out this article sent to my by the fabulous folks over at MissNowMrs.com

Definately worth the read….

I do I Do’s!
410-340-3224
e-mail:info@WeddingsbySandy.com
Give Yourself the Gift of Wedding Day Peace of Mind.

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Provided by Reverend Sandy
Weddings by Sandy
410-340-3224
e-mail: info@WeddingsbySandy.com