Weddings By Sandy

Archive for the ‘An Officiant’ Category

The following article was retrieved from “http://www.articlesbase.com/weddings-articles/the-wedding-officiants-fee-908616.html” It is very good and I thought you would enjoy reading it.

“I was flabbergasted to receive an email the other day, chastising me for our $369 Classic Custom ceremony fee. According the writer’s calculations, the fee for a “15 minute ceremony” resulted in us obtaining the astronomical hourly rate of $1,476! Wowza! If that were true, I’d be writing this article from my summer mansion on the shores of the Mediterranean while my cabana boy massaged my tootsies!

Couples often have to rein in their wedding day festivities to accommodate their budget. And make no mistake about it–the wedding business is a multi-billion dollar industry with the average cost of a wedding hovering above $30,000. A professional job well done is worth a fair price, however, and it seems our unhappy writer above was unaware of the time, work and expense put forth by a high-quality officiant.

So, if you’ve been secretly wondering why the rate for some officiants seems high for the amount of time it takes to deliver your ceremony, let me clarify things.. First of all, let’s look at the actual time that is included:

Most custom ceremonies do not last 15 minutes as our friend suggested, but closer to 30 minutes.
Officiants generally arrive up to 30 minutes prior to the ceremony to facilitate last minute coordination, and stay an additional 15-20 minutes after the completion of the ceremony to sign the license, congratulate the couple and pose for photos.
The initial getting acquainted meeting lasts 45 minutes to an hour.
It takes an hour to write the ceremony.
Driving time to and from the ceremony must be included.
There is generally an additional 30-45 minutes of email time during the course of our pre-ceremony relationship to answer questions. We advise couples on everything from marriage licenses to the name charge process to wedding etiquette.

So, factoring in the above actually brings our “15 Minute Ceremony” up to 5 hours of time on the part of the officiant.

Still, our frugal friend might howl that brings us to an hourly average of $74–unjustifiable to many. So, let’s take the following expenses into account.

How did our fine fellow find us? Through one of the wedding sites upon which we advertise. This does not come for free. Nor does our website that we pay to design, maintain and host in order to give prospective clients complete information on our services as well as access to other helpful resources.

Add in the cost of gasoline, car insurance and maintenance to get us to the ceremony on time (always a plus!)

Office expenses, ministerial vestments, binders, phone costs, bank fees, postage, business taxes, membership dues, paper, ink, postage and that fancy black pen that you get to use to sign your license!

All of this is difficult to quantify and will vary from officiant to officiant. And of course, the cost needs to be spread across all of the bookings that an officiant acquires in any given month. Let’s take a conservative estimate and say that the above costs average approximately $30 per wedding booked.

This brings us down to a more respectable $44 per hour. But wait! We have forgotten to include the wedding resources to which each couple has access in order to write their ceremony. Most officiants who’ve been writing ceremonies for years have compiled a vast wealth of options for vows, blessings, readings, etc, as well as some great creative ideas for use in the ceremony. Value? Well, we sell our ceremony resources, for $50, so let’s assume that is a safe bet. Lopping that off the top of the original $369 brings our officiant’s hourly rate down to a more reasonable $34.00 per hour.

Now, our fine fellow could certainly have his best friend, Bud obtain a quickie online ordination and perform the wedding ceremony for the compensation of a six-pack.. That would be one way to save the cost of an officiant and is a viable option for many. However, before you go call up the Bud-ster, you might want to think about what comes with that $34.00 per hour fee.

A professional wedding officiant is going to be able to handle anything that comes along on the day of the wedding. It’s not as simple as showing up and reading the script. Consider the following mishaps that have happened to couples whom I’ve wed: microphones die during the ceremony, bridal party members faint, ex-spouses feud (openly!), brides and grooms cry uncontrollably during their vows, flower girls get stung by bees, Dads need reassurance, lines get flubbed by the bride and groom, the ring bearer throws up on his way down the aisle. A thunderstorm unleashes halfway through the ceremony, Unity Candles won’t light. It goes on and on.

And then there are the last minute details–coordinating with the music providers, the photographer and the venue staff. Bridal party members need to be lined up and inevitably some key person is in the bathroom come ceremony start time. Is the Unity Candle lighter in place? Where are the roses for the rose ceremony? They were forgotten? No problem, the officiant plucks some out of a centerpiece and saves the day. Does the best man have the rings? Oh dear! The reader forgot her reading–good thing the officiant has an extra copy. Who has the marriage license? Which side is the bride’s side and which is the groom’s? The FOB (father of bride) is MIA. Oh, there he is–on the balcony having a cigarette with his girlfriend (who by the way can’t stand the ex and refuses to sit in the same row). The bride, starting to stress, turns to her officiant, who offers her a reassuring smile. All is well.

The ceremony is filled with wonderfully creative ideas that the officiant has provided. It is delivered by a proficient public speaker who projects loudly enough for even those in the back row to hear. Along the way, the officiant has offered support, guidance, and encouragement. A professional wedding officiant is equal parts emcee, etiquette advisor, coordinator, script-writer, organizer, frayed nerve-soother and legal resource.

The wedding officiant is one of the lowest wedding vendor fees that a couple will pay, yet having a bad one can ruin what should be the couple’s most special day. While we respect the right of each couple to prioritize their wedding spending, it is always surprising when a couple spends copious amounts of money on things like cake, cutesy favors and limousine, only to seek a bare bones ceremony–which is the heart of the wedding day. Down the road, I think you will want to remember the words of commitment you spoke as being meaningful and poignant as opposed to how yummy your cake was or that you had an open bar at the reception.

Beware the officiant who charges a ridiculously low fee, does not require a deposit or doesn’t issue a contract. I can’t tell you how many calls we get from panicked prides because their “professional” wedding officiant backed out of the wedding a week before. If you haven’t given them money and signed a contract, then the deal is not sealed.

Here’s the bottom line: expect to pay a fair price for a professional service. Then, sit back and allow your officiant to show you how to create a wedding ceremony that upon which you will look back and smile about for many years to come!”

Written by Maureen Thomson

- About the Author:

Maureen Thomson is a wedding officiant and owner of Lyssabeth’s Colorado Wedding Officiants. Visit her website at http://www.MemorableCeremonies.com, http://www.RockyMountainWeddingOfficiants.com or http://www.ColoradoSpringsWeddingOfficiants.com

Read more: http://www.articlesbase.com/weddings-articles/the-wedding-officiants-fee-908616.html#ixzz0sLsGBio3
Under Creative Commons License: Attribution

What is the best ritual to include in your ceremony? Well a lot depends on your personality as a couple do you enjoy a lot of sentiment or are you more fun; is your ceremony humorous or religious? There are a lot of factors to consider.
Many brides choose a sand ceremony because they have children and this is a wonderful way to include them in the ceremony. The sand is poured into two containers or more and then the children pour the sand into a bigger container, followed by the bride and the groom, creating a beautiful container of sand art.
Other brides prefer a more traditional route with a candle lighting ceremony, which really can only effectively be done inside. It is always sad when the wind blows out the candle, even with a hurricane lantern you cannot be sure it will stay lit.
What about trying something different, maybe a hand fasting ritual this where the term “tying the knot” comes from or giving each other chocolate kisses to symbolize the sweetness of life? Maybe you can wash away the past and step forth into the future with a clean slate, with a water ceremony.
Whatever ritual you choose, make it meaningful to you and your intended. Your wedding ceremony is something to be cherished and remembered.

I have officiated hundreds of weddings and I’ve noticed that the groom doesn’t get special music to come in the wedding site.  Why is that?  The mom’s get special music, the bridesmaids get special music and sometimes the ring bearer and flower girl will get special music.  Why not the groom?  Of course the bride always gets her special music. Although I have noticed thankfully it is not always Here comes the Bride!  Canon in D and even At Last are awesome for the bride, but again…what about the groom?  Isn’t it his special day too?  Shouldn’t his favorite song be played or at least something to signify a change and that he is going to be making an appearance? 

I hang out with the guys a lot, I always tell the groom, “I’ve got your back”…then he asks me when will I know when it is time to come out?  “So, do you have special music?”  Of course he doesn’t know!  So, I check in with the DJ.  As usual, he doesn’t! 

It is the groom’s special day and I really think he should have his special music too, even if it is selected by the bride! 

I have seen a lot of great guys take on the responsibility of best man and do an outstanding job. Mostly, I’ve seen some great guys do a mediocre job. Why is this? Well, I think it is because we want to choose our best friends to stand up with us, instead of thinking about what the responsibilities are and what is required of the person who will stand up with us. You see, the best man and the maid of honor should be selected to help us with things like fetching a glass of water, keeping guest away prior to the ceremony, helping you with whatever you need!
The other major thing is the best man and the maid of honor should be great at giving a toast. The best man and the maid of honor should be wonderful at keeping secrets, if necessary. They should do everything to ensure the bride and the groom is not included in any drama. The best man should ensure the rings and the license are on site the day of the wedding. The maid of honor should make sure the bride has everything she needs to relax and prepare for her special day.
The maid of honor should host the bridal shower and the best man should make sure the bachelor party is fun, safe and what the groom wants.
If these individuals are chosen to help the bride and groom, instead of just being best friends, I think weddings would be easier, more relaxed and definitely more fun!

So many times I hear the words, “We just want a simple ceremony.”, or “We just want a traditional ceremony.”   Long before I get the phone call from a couple, I have been working on that simple ceremony in ways they don’t realize.  First, there is the ability to be found.  Advertising, networking, building up and paying for my website, working on certifications, taking classes, learning about new rituals and ideas for ceremonies are all ways of improving my business and how I operate. 

Every wedding takes more than 15 minutes. Many times a call from a new client can take that long. How about the hours of research, preparation time, venue site reviews, referrals, state licensing, vendor meetings, client meetings, bridal shows, literature and  business card creations, thank you gifts, ministerial robes, mileage, PA system maintenance, professional association dues, just to name a few of the many considerations to take into account .

OK, so even a simple ”canned” wedding ceremony requires time to prepare, adding in the names of the bride and groom, printing it off, ensuring there is enough ink for the printer and paper.  Binding the printed copy for the ceremony is critical.  This keeps it together so it is easily used during the ceremony and so the bride and groom have a keepsake copy.  Then there is preparing myself, shower and time to dress and groom properly.  Pulling together any necessary items like my bridal emergency kit, the lapel microphone, sound system; travel time to the site or venue; gas and auto expenses, making sure I have my cell phone, ink pen and stamps and any special requirements.

When Officiating the ceremony, the words and names need to be pronounced properly, rituals conducted, discussing cues for music with the dj, proper placement of the bridal party with the coordinator and ensuring the photographer doesn’t block the view of the groom ensuring the ceremony goes off without a hitch. I need to help the bride and groom get through the ceremony, giving everyone cues as to when to do what, almost like a director or conductor.   Following the ceremony, accepting accolades from the audience, handing out business cards, gathering up any items that were left behind by the bride and groom, signing the license and mailing off the official copy to the state. 

That doesn’t even take into consideration experience, expertise, advice, patience, professionalism, adaptability, showmanship, flexibility and caring for myself, you know exercise, water, bathroom breaks, food, clothing and so forth.

If you add up all the real time, equipment and effort invested, you might find as I have that many small or office weddings are performed at about or below minimum wage.

Even with the ceremonies that are not custom made there is the issue of the delivery. I have seen Officiants who have no public speaking skills, no social skills and no writing skills.  As a public speaker and former professional vocalist, I know how to project my voice. I know how to instill feeling into my words. I have done a great deal of public speaking and feel very calm and confident in front of people.

Couples are not just paying for 15 minutes of time; they are paying for the highlight and focus of their wedding day.  So, please understand that when I ask you for payment, there is much more than 15 minutes involved…there are years of experience, education and personal sacrifice that go into your ceremony. 

If you want wedding day peace of mind, a ceremony that is unique, personalized and special, then consider hiring an officiant who cares about you and your ceremony and is willing to spend more than 15 minutes of their time to put it together. 

Most weddings start about 15 minutes late, this is usually to allow the last minute guests to arrive and find a seat. In today’s society it seems to be alright to arrive late, for me it seems to be a trend.  Recently a wedding ceremony was held up for one full hour waiting for guests to arrive even though the invitation clearly stated the start time, it caused me to be late to another wedding.  I don’t know why this trend is occurring, but I think it is more important to prevent this type of thing from happening to begin with.  So, what can a bride do to prevent her wedding from being held up by inconsiderate and late guests?

First of all evaluate the habits of your family and friends.  Are they usually late for most events?  Talk to your vendors, do they have the time to wait?  If so, is there an additional fee?  Once you figure out an appropriate time line; then send out your invitations with an adjusted start time that is earlier than the actual time.  For example:  If you want your  ceremony to start at 2:00 PM, then put 1:30 PM or earlier on your invitations to get people there on time.  This way, your day will be relaxed with plenty of time for you and your vendors…and those guests who still insist on being late…oh well!  You can’t control everything!

Yesterday I had a client meeting and two weddings. In preparation for the two weddings I contacted the bride who had yet to send me her vows and I printed off the second wedding’s keepsake ceremony. In preparation for the client meeting I printed off the contact data form and contract. The bride who needed to send me her vows, finally contacted me, but I never received them from her so I had to print off her ceremony with out the vows.

When I attended my client meeting, the bride was so excited that she signed the contract immediately and said, “You are too popular, I have to book you!” I was stunned! Surprised! All could say was, “thank you!”

After the client meeting, I went to my first wedding. The bride was late, despite the fact that I made it clear I had another wedding (1.5 hours away). In my initial meeting I discuss being late, there is a late clause in my contract and I am always upfront with couples about what I have going on. They were not prepared for their ceremony, obviously not paying attention to what they selected and what I put together for them. I asked them if they rehearsed at all (since they didn’t want a rehearsal) they responded that “no they didn’t rehearse”, even though I sent them a rehearsal guide. I edited the ceremony as I read, so that it would at least make sense. The reader they selected to read COULDN’T READ! She stumbled over the simplest words (I felt embarrassed for her). The groom is going into the Marines in a few weeks and took everything in stride, the bride looked like she was a deer in headlights.

I try to meet with couples, especially couples who choose not to rehearse, about 2 weeks prior to their ceremony and I had done so with this couple. It gives all of us a chance to review the ceremony and to discuss the needs and the technical bits. Her two mothers, apologized over and over, but being late is so disrespectful.. Oh Well..obviously the bride just didn’t care that much.

I made it in time (the as promised time) to the second wedding. This wedding was exactly the opposite, because we had held a rehearsal the night prior, the couple was relaxed, prepared, and very emotional during the ceremony, both cried. It was a beautiful thing. Everything went as planned. Their reader was perfect. I went home and collapsed..I just don’t think I can do better than this.

I try being flexible, but flexible only goes so far..I am not going to be late to someone else’s wedding because one bride is disrespectful to everyone else by being late.

That was my day yesterday, how was your!

In my five years of officiating wedding ceremonies I have never dropped the rings.  Thank Goodness!  But recently, something happened that I have never experienced before.  A two year old pitched a fit just prior to coming down the aisle and during this little tantrum, he flicked his wrist and the ring pillow flew over my head and into the Chesapeake Bay!  Thankfully, this couple took my advice and did not put the rings on that flying pillow. 

My advice is to not trust a child with thousands of dollars of jewelry!  If you feel that you must put something on the pillow then put those fake gold or silver plastic rings on the pillow.  Give the rings to the matron of honor, the best man or the officiant, but don’t entrust them to someone who will turn that ring pillow into a soccer ball or foot ball or something worse, bay trash! 

Have you ever wondered if you should have a receiving line after your ceremony? Well let’s run through the pros and cons.   How long will this take?  What if the weather isn’t so great…will your guests be inside or outside while they are waiting in line? What about those that have physical disabilities and can’t stand in line?  Which members of the wedding party should be in the receiving line?  Where and when the receiving line should start?

Well let’s run through the pros and cons. First of all you’ve just finished your ceremony, you are excited, and relieved that it is over and maybe you want a few minutes alone with each other…but wait you have a receiving line to get into. If you have just a few guests maybe it will take 15 minutes, but what if you have invited 100, 150 or more guests, you may be there an hour or more! Shaking hands, getting hugs and kisses (where is the antibacterial gel? Swine flu!). Can’t you do this after dinner? You could be getting photos done while your guests are getting refreshments. If you take the time following dinner then you can speak to each guest and spend a little bit more time with them, than in a receiving line. If you meet and greet each person after dinner, then you may not have as much time to dance and have fun…so what should you do?  So many couples complain that the day just becomes a blur and hardly remember anything about their day because most of it was spent making the rounds greeting guests!

For practical purposes, it’s good advice to limit the number of people in your receiving line. You will want to greet each guest and have your guests move quickly through the line (guests dislike standing in a slow moving receiving line) and avoid any delays to your reception getting under way.   So, who should be in the receiving line? 

A receiving line can be as long or short as you like and at its minimum include the bride, the groom and the hosts of the day. To speed things along, it is practical advice to just include those members of your bridal party who need to participate in the receiving line.  It is not unusual for only one set of parents to stand in the receiving line and the other set to mingle through the crowd of guests meeting and greeting them.  The Maid of Honor and Bridesmaids generally participate, but the Groomsmen and ushers do not. Only children of the bridal couple participate in the receiving line other children who may have participated in the ceremony do not.

Your receiving line is a guarantee that you will meet and greet each individual guest, so where is the best place to have the receiving line?  Choosing the site for the receiving line is important.  You are going to be standing there for at least 15 minutes maybe more.  Choose a space that is not going to feel crowded such as in a hall way, sidewalk, under a grove of trees or on the dance floor.  Where ever you choose to stand, make it comfortable and easy for your guests to walk by on their way to the reception. Also make sure there is plenty of ventilation so the bride doesn’t get overheated and so sweat isn’t pouring off the brow of the groom.  You might also want to consider when to hold the receiving line, immediately following the ceremony or just prior to the start of the wedding reception. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure your line moves quickly so you don’t waste a moment of your special day.  The goal is to have fun! 

Check out this article sent to my by the fabulous folks over at MissNowMrs.com

Definately worth the read….

I do I Do’s!
410-340-3224
e-mail:info@WeddingsbySandy.com
Give Yourself the Gift of Wedding Day Peace of Mind.

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Provided by Reverend Sandy
Weddings by Sandy
410-340-3224
e-mail: info@WeddingsbySandy.com